The Professor Reports From The Warped Tour

Ya, the Warped Tour isn't metal, but what is anymore? It's hard to say. Metal has become as much of an attitude as a sound, and at the "Old Skool" stages of the Pomona and Ventura Warped Tour dates, there was plenty of metal attitude. First off, the Old Skool stages weren't even listed on the daily set list lineups, so right off the bat it was like they didn't exist. But I took out Edward Colver, my friend Michael Tamony and his brothers and friends looking for a job (sorry guys--but thanks for the free help!), and we set up our little punk rock mercantile empire. Our booth was right next to TSOL, DI and the Adolescents both days. Those guys were great to hang out and talk with. Flipper camped in our booth for awhile and used our space to sell merch. They had lackluster sales, but it's not surprising since they set up a card table then left. It's Flipper--what do you want, friendly service? Any service? The best part was talking with the kids who couldn't believe that one guy took all the LA hardcore photos they've been staring at for years. Watching Lee Ving rock like Hell then walk through the crowd in the most humble manner possible was also a highlight. Duane Peters' band of Johnny Thunders' imitators was ridiculously hookey and rocking. Of course the Adolescents, TSOL and DI delivered the goods like Rob Halford set loose on an aircraft carrier after dark with 5,000 lonely men don't asking and don't telling. And speaking of homoerotica, the best part of the whole Old Skool experience was our headless mannequin with Darby Crashface and large genitals. The things some girls will do toget attention. An unsuspecting cop stood in front of Darby, and Mr. Colver got out his new cameraphone.

Finally, I have to say, if you want loud, headbanging and rowdy, I have to hand it to ATTACK ATTACK. These guys have the most ridiculous video w/fake death metal vocalsyou can imagine. But live, they had kids just going nuts like some sort of Biohazard show played with all the newest gadgets from Guitar Center. They're loud, they play crunchy riffs, and, love 'em or hate 'em, a lot of kids appear to love 'em and not care if you hate 'em.

Edward Colver with Ted Falconi and Bruce Loose of Flipper